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I never had thoughts that control me6/17/2023 ![]() Looking at a situation from this newly distanced point of view often makes it easier to see the full picture, not just the most immediate effects. You’re stepping back from a mindset that’s only fueling distress. It might feel a little awkward, but this cognitive reappraisal strategy offers a couple important benefits.įirst, repositioning yourself as an outside observer helps create space from intense thoughts and emotions. I know you have the strength to face this new problem, too.” Try: “I know you feel miserable right now, but you’ve worked hard to cope with other challenges.Instead of: “I feel miserable, but I’ve been through worse, so I can deal with this, too.”.When addressing yourself in the first person doesn’t seem to have much impact, try switching to a third-person perspective. Self-talk can go a long way toward helping you change your mindset, but the way you talk to yourself matters. Meditation offers other benefits beyond improving control of your awareness: It can also relieve the intensity of negative emotions and stress, boost resilience and compassion, and even help slow age-related cognitive decline. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, can help you become more skilled at focusing on things as they happen.Īs you become more mindful, you’ll notice you no longer need to constantly pull your awareness back from troubling or distracting thoughts. The more you meditate, the easier it becomes to let unwanted thoughts drift past. You notice them, but then you let them go, which helps loosen their hold over you.Īnd just like that, you’ve gained back some control. The trick lies in learning how to sit with the thoughts you don’t want. ![]() Here’s what to know about meditation: It really can help change your brain, but you have to stick with it. You sit, you relax, but no matter how you try to clear your head, random thoughts keep popping back up to distract you from the calm you’re trying to achieve. It may not seem as if meditation actually helps you control your mind, especially when you first start out. One great way to get in the habit of accepting unwanted thoughts? Meditation. Keeping the situation in perspective can help you manage your worries about it happening again instead of letting fear hold you back from finding someone new. You worry you’ve failed at dating and feel anxious about trying again.Īcknowledging these fears allows you to confront them and remind yourself that you’re not to blame for their bad manners. Their disappearing act left you with unresolved questions and an overwhelming sense of unworthiness. Accepting those persistent thoughts leads you to recognize that you really wanted your connection to last. Maybe you keep thinking about a fling who ghosted you. There’s only so much you can do to create change yourself, but giving up entirely isn’t the answer either.”Īcceptance can even offer clues as to why specific thoughts keep coming up. Say you feel a little low because nothing in your life seems to be happening the way you planned despite all your hard work.Īcceptance might involve telling yourself, “Nothing seems to be going right, and that’s discouraging. Instead, try the opposite: Accept those thoughts, and let them in. That usually just makes them more intense. ![]() Yet pushing away unwanted thoughts isn’t the way to gain control. It’s human nature to flinch away from pain, so of course you’d prefer to avoid thoughts that cause distress.
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